The rich, as the author of the upcoming Lance Bass/Paris Hilton blockbuster famously said, are different than you and I. For one thing, they go to Hummer camp, apparently for the priviledge of driving their $50,000 SUVs in the mud, which costs money, as opposed to the mall, which is free.
Speaking of shopping, here's what one of the participants said about her Canyonero-sized car:
"You know when you go shopping and nothing moves you?" she asked. "Then there's the time you see something, and right away know it's perfect. It's like falling in love. When I'm driving it, I feel empowered. It's the car that opens the sea for me. Now I know how Moses felt."
Yeah, Moses was pretty bummed out, what with the imprisonment of his people and ancient Egypt's generally unfulfilling retail options.
In the interest of full disclosure, I drive an extraneous, XTreme-styled SUV myself (but don't worry -- it's electric), and I'm sure I cut quite the Biblical figure when I drive it to the Giant down the street, the Nissan-supplied XTreme bandana draped around my shoulders. At the same time, though, it seems like the newly idle rich now have this tendency not just to flaunt their money -- a time-honored American tradition -- but flaunt it in ways calculated to infuriate as many other people as humanly possible. We've gone from ostentation to irritation.
So when I get my $400 child tax credit check in the mail this summer, I'll have to find some equally obnoxious way of spending it (while doing my share to create those 1 million new jobs we've been promised). Maybe I'll pick up some remaindered NO SLACK FOR IRAQ mud flaps at the local Wal-Mart.