ASK FOR IT BY NAME

You know you're in for a fun afternoon at work when you walk into the office and smell the smoke from your burning computer wafting all the way down the hallway.

Hard to believe as it may seem, a four-year-old computer from one of the world's best-known and most-trusted brands -- MEGTRON (tm)(R) -- isn't the most reliable piece of mission-critical eqiupment in the world. Even before the unfortunate explosion, it would make noises alternating between the death rattle of a Soviet-era iron lung and a high school nerd's rock tumbler whenever you tried to do something inadvisable, like turn it on. I realize the folks in the MEGTRON (tm)(R) head office are probably pretty busy, what with having to fight Godzilla, but I can't help but think there's an air traffic controller out there somewhere trying to guide a 747 into a fogged-in airport using one of these suckers.

The saddest, nay, tragic part of this whole sad story? Even after the explosion, it was easily repairable, and even as I speak (or type), it's growling menacingly under my desk. Maybe it senses that Mothra is nearby...