UM, NICE WEATHER WE’RE HAVING

Ever overhear a conversation so awkward you wish you could spontaneously combust to create a distraction?

The other day, I was trapped in an elevator with two people who obviously worked together. With a big toothy grin, one said to the other, “When I saw you in the garage just now and honked my horn, you jumped so high I thought you would hit the ceiling!”

“Well,” the other person replied, “I was hit by a car when I was 18. I was in traction for months.”

“Oh.”

It's never taken so long to ride up five floors.