OCD AT THE GROCERY

Okay, so it's been a while since I've shared any tales about the Bizarro ----way down the street. Believe it or not, since the not-so-massive construction project a while back, things seemed to improve. At least a little, and at least for a while. We even saw some young turk of a manager wandering around, apparently eager to earn his wings, or golden grocery cart, or whatever, by cleaning up the joint.

But, of course, it could only last so long. The produce has started looking questionable again of late. With the onset of hot weather, the air conditioning doesn’t seem to work (though it cuts on with a shriek that could wake the dead all the way back to East Baltimore). And the aforementioned young turk has since disappeared, idealistic dreams of a career in grocery management dashed like so many rotten cantaloupes prematurely ripened by the broken air conditioner.

Still, hope springs eternal, even in the face of such painful metaphors. Plus, I’ve noticed a few bright-eyed new employees that have yet to be crushed by the ----way machine. Of course, at least one of the new guys looks like he’ll fit into the whole milieu quite nicely.

You see, every time he finishes scanning up a customer's purchases, he produces a filthy paper towel from his little store-issue apron and gives the scanner a good wipedown--a really good wipedown. Then he stares at the dirty paper towel for a long, long moment, as though it contains the mysteries to life itself (or maybe it was his resume, to offer up another incredibly painful metaphor) before stuffing it back in his apron and devoting his full attention to the next customer.

Granted, sometimes those scanners need to be wiped down, especially after someone comes through with a leaky jug of milk or seven. But this guy does it every freaking time, even if the only thing the happy patron has is a box of Chiclets. Which happens a lot, since in the infinite wisdom of store management, he works the freaking express lane.

Just remember -- you can’t spell “grocery/deli” without OCD.