TAKE THAT, SADDAM!
Who says our nation's color-coded rainbow of terror doesn't mean anything? As a result of the previously mentioned return to Mellow Yellow(tm), they've unlocked one door at my office building. Hell, if we go back to blue, they might even let us crack a window!
Saturday, June 21, 2003
SLOWEST NEWS DAY. EVER.
I look forward to reading the newspaper on weekends. So as I skimmed the front page of The Washington Post this morning, what do I see? In the paper that brought down Nixon, a front-page article about a woman who tried to eat a 50-ounce steak (and failed, to save you the time of reading about 2,500 words of bland "local color"). You see, she's from Texas! It's a wacky, non-D.C.-like, place!
Okay, let's be fair. Maybe not much else is going on in the world. So let's flip to the Metro section. Surely in a city that Donald Rumsfeld just called statistically more dangerous than Baghdad, something interesting happened. Sure enough -- at the top of a page, a story about earthworms, and how the nonstop rain we've endured over the past few months is a Bad Thing for them. Maybe they could move to Iraq.
Remember, this is the paper of record in the nation's capital, the self-appointed watchdog of our public servants. They should be focusing on the big issues, the barnburners, the exposes -- oh, wait, I forgot to turn to the Style section. I stand corrected!
I look forward to reading the newspaper on weekends. So as I skimmed the front page of The Washington Post this morning, what do I see? In the paper that brought down Nixon, a front-page article about a woman who tried to eat a 50-ounce steak (and failed, to save you the time of reading about 2,500 words of bland "local color"). You see, she's from Texas! It's a wacky, non-D.C.-like, place!
Okay, let's be fair. Maybe not much else is going on in the world. So let's flip to the Metro section. Surely in a city that Donald Rumsfeld just called statistically more dangerous than Baghdad, something interesting happened. Sure enough -- at the top of a page, a story about earthworms, and how the nonstop rain we've endured over the past few months is a Bad Thing for them. Maybe they could move to Iraq.
Remember, this is the paper of record in the nation's capital, the self-appointed watchdog of our public servants. They should be focusing on the big issues, the barnburners, the exposes -- oh, wait, I forgot to turn to the Style section. I stand corrected!
Monday, June 16, 2003
THE WORLD'S UPSIDE DOWN...
...when in the D.C. area, Newt Gingrich hawks his new novel about the (surprise!) Civil War at Barnes & Noble, while Hillary Clinton hawks her own book at Wal-Mart. No word, though, on whether they were handing out free tackle boxes.
...when in the D.C. area, Newt Gingrich hawks his new novel about the (surprise!) Civil War at Barnes & Noble, while Hillary Clinton hawks her own book at Wal-Mart. No word, though, on whether they were handing out free tackle boxes.
Friday, June 13, 2003
MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE WORN HIS FLIGHT SUIT
By now, everyone's seen these traitorous, objectively pro-Saddam pictures of Dear Leader:
I've had the dorky priviledge of riding a Segway. And from my limited experience, it's virtually impossible to fall off of one. Of course, W.'s father was the one who thought a grocery store scanner was going to steal his soul, and there was all that unpleasantness with voting machines in his brother's state. So maybe the family just has some issues with technology.
UPDATE: Now there's this. Genius.
By now, everyone's seen these traitorous, objectively pro-Saddam pictures of Dear Leader:
I've had the dorky priviledge of riding a Segway. And from my limited experience, it's virtually impossible to fall off of one. Of course, W.'s father was the one who thought a grocery store scanner was going to steal his soul, and there was all that unpleasantness with voting machines in his brother's state. So maybe the family just has some issues with technology.
UPDATE: Now there's this. Genius.
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
YOU CAN'T GO HOME, PT. 34
In the nearly 10 years we've been married, I've joked that we keep moving into increasingly depressing places. First, we lived in a cool, surprisingly hip loft-style apartment in a renovated 110-year-old warehouse. Then we moved to one of the few high-rise apartments in Arlington that overlooked something other than another high rise. Then came the nice but generic townhouse adjoining the world's scariest grocery store, followed by the swank 70s monument to stucco and earth tones we currently call home.
Well, this is what's apparently happened to place # 2. We hear the rats have reclaimed the backyard of place #3, and the owner of place #1 apparently went bankrupt years ago. Still, though, this takes the cake.
It's fun being downwardly mobile.
In the nearly 10 years we've been married, I've joked that we keep moving into increasingly depressing places. First, we lived in a cool, surprisingly hip loft-style apartment in a renovated 110-year-old warehouse. Then we moved to one of the few high-rise apartments in Arlington that overlooked something other than another high rise. Then came the nice but generic townhouse adjoining the world's scariest grocery store, followed by the swank 70s monument to stucco and earth tones we currently call home.
Well, this is what's apparently happened to place # 2. We hear the rats have reclaimed the backyard of place #3, and the owner of place #1 apparently went bankrupt years ago. Still, though, this takes the cake.
It's fun being downwardly mobile.
Monday, June 09, 2003
THINGS I DID IN THE HINTERLAND THIS WEEKEND
The scary thing? In spite of it all, I love the place.
- Discovered that the Mark Toner Chop Steak now comes with Freedom Fries.
- Read this fair and balanced letter to the editor.
- Learned they give kids free tackle boxes filled with sunflower seeds at Wal-Mart.
- Saw this license plate: HUNT ELK (I'm assuming they mean the animal, and not members of the civic association).
The scary thing? In spite of it all, I love the place.
Friday, June 06, 2003
GOOD GRIEF
Here we go again. Now all my past posts have returned from the Great Beyond, but they can't be reposted. In fact, I don't think anything can be posted at this point. My blog appears to be in a state of suspended animation, much like usual except that I'm actually trying to post.
Anyway. Consider this my attempt to give this stupid blog a Megtron(tm)-worthy kick back into the real world.
Megtron(tm) and Blogger -- two great tastes that taste great together.
UPDATE: Everything seems to be working. Now back to the usual, regularly scheduled lack of updates.
Here we go again. Now all my past posts have returned from the Great Beyond, but they can't be reposted. In fact, I don't think anything can be posted at this point. My blog appears to be in a state of suspended animation, much like usual except that I'm actually trying to post.
Anyway. Consider this my attempt to give this stupid blog a Megtron(tm)-worthy kick back into the real world.
Megtron(tm) and Blogger -- two great tastes that taste great together.
UPDATE: Everything seems to be working. Now back to the usual, regularly scheduled lack of updates.
Thursday, June 05, 2003
WELL, WELL, WELL...
It seems the picture below was so ugly, it actually broke the Internet. Or at least Blogger. Either way, about three months' worth of postings seem to have disappeared into the ether. One or two of them were even vaguely coherent.
Luckily, I keep a non-Blogger archive, so simply follow the link and you won't miss a darned thing. Western civilization can breathe a collective sigh of relief....
Stupid Blogger.
It seems the picture below was so ugly, it actually broke the Internet. Or at least Blogger. Either way, about three months' worth of postings seem to have disappeared into the ether. One or two of them were even vaguely coherent.
Luckily, I keep a non-Blogger archive, so simply follow the link and you won't miss a darned thing. Western civilization can breathe a collective sigh of relief....
Stupid Blogger.
UPDATE: Well, now the old entries reappeared, but today's disappeared until I manually reentered them. Bad, bad Blogger.
ROCK AND ROLL WILL NEVER DIE...
... but maybe, just maybe, someone should have pulled the plug on its ventilator in the '70s. All of the sudden, the sexual ambiguity that pervaded 80s music is put into some sort of twisted perspective.
But wait -- there's more.
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