SO LONG, BUNDLE STRAPPERS...

A long time ago, I linked to a column I wrote when I first became editor of TechNews, in the hopes of providing an example to future generations of editors of how not to introduce yourself to your readers.

Well, I'm changing jobs, so here's an example of how not to say goodbye. The good news? I won't be writing a column like this at my new gig, for which the world as a whole should breathe a sigh of relief...

And yes, that is me getting out of Dodge. I didn't ask for this, but somehow it wound up as a miniscule, where's Waldoesque part of the cover of my final issue. Could have been worse --- they could have depicted me riding into the sunset on my trusty steed, with the requisite unspoken caption ("... and the horse you rode in on!")

WHEN YOU CARE ENOUGH...

Some of you may have friends who care enough to send you one of those great Maya Angelou cards from the Hallmark collection ("A river, a rock and a tree/Sorry you caught me with the nanny/On our anniversary"). Me, I get cards like this:

So far, so good. But then there's the inside:



Wow. Actually, after looking at this card's high production values, someone needs to say something else: "Your Photoshop Skills Frighten Me!"

For the record, I received this as a joke -- I think. That day's pretty much a blur. The scary thing? These cards were actually printed by my sincere but somewhat uptight alma mater, in an attempt to discourage binge drinking. (The pretty bridge you can barely see is a famous campus landmark, but that's another story for another day.)

But picture distributing a box of these to your average dorm of college freshmen, and imagine the howls of laughter. It's almost enough to drive a well-meaning college administrator to the bottle.