I WAS YOUNG, AND I NEEDED THE MONEY

Something tells me it's time to update my ancient Monster.com search agent, which I think I signed up for two, maybe three, jobs ago, but still kicks me the occasional e-mail.



Either that, or I need to get a sex change operation and start learning Spanish. No, no, just kidding. All I can say is, good thing I'm currently pursuing far more wholesome endeavors in my writing.

MAYBE THEY'LL GREENLIGHT GHOSTBUSTERS 3...

For the first time in a decade, I shaved my beard (it took nearly that long to grow out). Before the tabloids get their hands on them, here are the actual unretouched before and after photos:

       

Mothers, lock up your daughters!