But I Digress

TAKE THAT , SADDAM! Who says our nation's color-coded rainbow of terror doesn't mean anything? As a result of the previously me...

SLOWEST NEWS DAY. EVER. I look forward to reading the newspaper on weekends. So as I skimmed the front page of The Washington Post this ...

THE WORLD'S UPSIDE DOWN... ...when in the D.C. area, Newt Gingrich hawks his new novel about the (surprise!) Civil War at Barnes ...

MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE WORN HIS FLIGHT SUIT By now, everyone's seen these traitorous, objectively pro-Saddam pictures of Dear Leader: ...

YOU CAN'T GO HOME, PT. 34 In the nearly 10 years we've been married, I've joked that we keep moving into increasingly depres...

THINGS I DID IN THE HINTERLAND THIS WEEKEND Discovered that the Mark Toner Chop Steak now comes with Freedom Fries. Read this fair ...

GOOD GRIEF Here we go again. Now all my past posts have returned from the Great Beyond, but they can't be reposted. In fact, I don...

WELL, WELL, WELL... It seems the picture below was so ugly, it actually broke the Internet. Or at least Blogger. Either way, about three mo...

ROCK AND ROLL WILL NEVER DIE... ... but maybe, just maybe, someone should have pulled the plug on its ventilator in the '70s. All of the...

THIS MAKES ME FEEL SOMEWHAT LESS XTREME The rich, as the author of the upcoming Lance Bass/Paris Hilton blockbuster famously said, are ...

ASK FOR IT BY NAME You know you're in for a fun afternoon at work when you walk into the office and smell the smoke from your burnin...

MOOSE AND SQUIRREL I'm way, way late to the party in bringing up Jayson Blair, the disgraced New York Times reporter who decided tha...

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE #47 I really, really hope this is a joke: Lance Bass To Star In 'Gatsby' Film With Paris Hilton S...

BEST. NOVEL. EVER. Thanks to the Internet web screen machine thingy, I've finally managed to find the book The Washington Post called ...

HATS OFF At the end of last year, I switched jobs . Sadly, the magazine I used to edit is now no more. I was actually quite proud of...

EH-OH... It's no longer topical, or even particularly relevant, but this has been updated for the first time in what seems like yea...

OPERATION ENDURING NAUSEA Some liberty-hating ne'r-do-wells say Paris--er, Freedom City, is the most romantic setting in the world. ...

HAD I KNOWN, I WOULD HAVE PICKED UP A CARD Today, freedom-hating countries like France--er, Freedom, are celebrating May Day, typically ...

WHY I LOVE MY JOB It's stories like this that make the drive a quarter of the way around the Beltway worthwhile. (Note: registratio...

UH-OH. Sometimes I delve fairly deep into the realms of nerddom. And when I do, nothing good ever comes of it. Consider this, from the W...

JUST WHEN I THINK I'VE HEARD IT ALL Give Iraq democracy, yes, but there's one thing that's definitely not open to negotiatio...

YOU CAN'T GO HOME... It's been more than a year since we moved away from our old Arlington neighborhood. And for the first time,...

PREDICTABLE, BUT FUN Okay, so maybe this is childish (not to mention a week or so behind the times), but I rather liked my own humble co...

OH. MY. GOD. Another letter from my newspaper alma mater. I'd love to be the guy writing the headlines for these things: North...

HAPPY V-B DAY One word: genius .

A MODEST PROPOSAL For your perusal, a letter to the editor from a paper I used to work for. I'm assuming the editors came up with t...

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE HOMEFRONT... Whenever I dare to leave the friendly duct-taped confines of my home, I've noticed that the vari...

WHAT WE'RE FIGHTING FOR Sometimes, freedom isn't free. It's $19.95, plus shipping and handling . Okay, so maybe I'm b...

LET'S HOPE THEY'RE NOT OF THE CHEESE-EATING SURRENDER VARIETY... Meet the newest members of the Coalition of the Willing(tm): Mo...

PR PATRIOTS First they came for the French fries. Then they came for the French toast. But when they came for French's Mustard, it w...

SHOCK-N-AWE(tm) In troubled times such as these, thank goodness for the inter web net screen machine. As war rages halfway around the world,...

DEJA VU When the bombs started falling in Gulf War I, I was heading back to my on-campus apartment with my roommate. Because a couple of...

IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS.... The last time we visited the in-laws, I picked up a copy of the newspaper I used to work for and noticed t...

SPONGY SYNERGY This will only make sense to those of you who know my four-year-old, but this new product frightens me. Of course, I've ...

OUR OWN LIL' TOM RIDGE Over the past few days, my one-year-old daughter Sara has started playing this cute little game we call Homel...

WHITE FLAKES OF DEATH, PT. 96 Much like the movie Groundhog Day , I'm starting to wonder if I'm trapped in a bad 6-o-clock newsc...

MASS OR CLASS? Apparently, neither. Here's the ad that Blogger, in its infinite wisdom, saw fit to put on the top of this humble sit...

WHAT A COUNTRY! I didn't watch the Grammies last night (didn't the Doobie Brothers get back together or something?), but earlier...

LITERATURE MARCHES ON I took a break from digging out of the snow and wrapping my bottled water and freedom fries in plastic sheeting ...

ORANGE SNOW If there's one thing that will take the D.C. area's collective mind off an Orange Alert, it's a really big snows...

ORANGE CRUSH Here's how to tell, in the Washington, D.C., area, the difference between an orange terror alert and a winter storm war...

NOW I'M REALLY CONFUSED I know spam is old hat, even though The New York Times just saw fit to give it notice . Years ago, when the ...

RESTON FREEZES OVER Reston(tm), if not hell, must be freezing over, considering I've managed to update the main part of my site twic...

WE'RE NUMBER 17! At long last, I've learned why my heavy-handed, take-no-prisoners style of investigative journalism ("Chal...