tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26008842011-12-14T22:02:11.987-05:00Random rants from a Right-Thinking American.A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comBlogger2171100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1115753077093830582005-05-09T20:12:00.000-04:002007-05-09T15:07:45.469-04:00

AT LONG LAST, MY FAITH IN DEMOCRACY IS RESTORED Forget all the Diebold conspiracy theories. Forget those speed-dailing freaks obsessed with American Idol. Thanks to the Serious Journalists(tm) at CNN, here's a poll everyone can agree accurately reflects our collective consciousness: Do you believe a dog could care for a baby? Yes   64%100719 votes No   36%

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1114555301402724202005-04-26T20:27:00.000-04:002005-04-27T13:07:28.410-04:00

SURVEY SAYS!It's been a few months since my lucrative side gig of writing fake amazon reviews was brought to an untimely end, and the painful memories of Black Thursday have finally started to fade. So what do I get in my e-mail inbox?Dear Amazon.com reviewer:Who are the people writing reviews at Amazon.com? Why do they do it? And how often?Answers to such questions can enable designers of online

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1113692921196860162005-04-16T19:06:00.000-04:002005-04-19T16:15:10.890-04:00

WOO-WEE! LOOK AT ALL THEM TALL BUILDINGS!Went up to New York City earlier this week for a magazine awards ceremony (the short version of the story: a bodyguard-adorned Martha Stewart won, we didn't). I spent a beautiful spring afternoon wandering around, catching up with friends and taking a Clark Griswold-like 55-minute sprint through the newly reopened MOMA, which now looks 45% more like the

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1113335744945030122005-04-11T20:55:00.000-04:002005-04-12T22:09:50.676-04:00

MEMORY MAPSI've always been obsessed with maps. And since all the Interweb kool kidz are doing it these days, I couldn't resist quickly throwing together a couple of memory maps made with Google's satellite imagery, complete with the requisite hipper-than-thou annotations from my not-quite-so-kool life (click on each image above to see them). Would-be stalkers, grab a magnifying glass and

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1109216846775949292005-02-23T22:23:00.000-05:002005-02-23T22:53:20.236-05:00

WE'RE NUMBER SIX!Okay, so maybe this humble blog isn't exactly setting the world on fire -- no book deals, no angry denunciations from the ever-defensive mainstream media, no journalists forced to resign in the wake of stunning exposes revealed here. But this site is up to #6 -- with a bullet! -- on a little site the folks on the Internets like to call Google. Perhaps you've heard of it.No,

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1108666814893331302005-02-17T21:43:00.000-05:002005-02-17T21:52:46.066-05:00

RECOMMENDED: THIS AND THATWell, ever since the evil editors at Amazon.com laid down the smack, I've needed some sort of outlet for my brilliant critical interpretations of our cultural effluvia. Or something. First up is Arcade Fire's Funeral, the best new album I've heard in some time (it's also the only new album I've heard in some time, so take that with a grain of salt). Their music has been

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1108062314870067342005-02-10T20:47:00.000-05:002005-02-10T21:11:15.466-05:00

RESTON'S DOPPLEGANGERI always suspected that my idyllic, planned community of Reston(tm) had a darker side (though I'm sure it's actually an HOA-approved shade of russert brown). Little did I know, though, that it has an evil twin.Located on the other side of Washington, D.C. in Maryland, Columbia has all the same hallmarks of a master-planned community -- the goofy, sylvan community names,

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1108006847887551822005-02-09T22:25:00.000-05:002005-02-10T21:15:19.550-05:00

WHAT COLOR IS MY PARACHUTE? APPARENTLY, MAUVERegular readers know about the helpful job postings that continually get e-mailed to me, whether I want them or not. So what am I to make of the two listings that found their way to me today? All I know is that together, they pretty much say it all about the state of my chosen metier, ca. 2005:WRITER/EDITOR, WAL-MART WORLDI'll bet the commute to

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1108664529907242932005-02-07T21:18:00.000-05:002005-02-17T21:51:15.133-05:00

I WON'T QUIT MY DAY JOBBut from time to time, I actually get paid to dispense liberal doses of snark. (Note: Free but annoying registration probably required; try 'kos@dailykos.com' as a username and 'kos' as a password).

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1107375616871100462005-02-03T07:20:00.000-05:002005-02-03T11:38:45.236-05:00

VIRGINIA IS FOR H8RS At last, I have just the perfect thing to put on my Xtreme SUV as I tool around Reston(tm): a personalized license plate honoring traditional marriage. But don't thank me. Thank the Virginia General Assembly: The capitalized "TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE" plate, showing two interlocked golden wedding bands over a red heart, would join scores of others for supporters of everything

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1107374495388415102005-02-02T09:55:00.000-05:002005-02-25T15:03:15.800-05:00

MAYBE WHAT THEY NEED IS A LITTLE MORE COWBELLWell, Washington has a new daily newspaper, and already I'm underwhelmed. You see, I assumed I lived in one of the demographically desirable Zip codes that will get the new DC Examiner mass-mailed to them. Then I remembered I live in Reston(tm), which has more SWAT teams than Scan outlets.Oh, well. So far, I've missed out on such thought-provoking and

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1106861289612972252005-01-27T16:19:00.000-05:002005-01-27T16:31:03.963-05:00

ET TU, BUSTER? First, they came for the Teletubbies. Then, they came for SpongeBob. And now, they're after Buster Baxter, the snack-food snarfing bunny known to any parent who's come within 100 feet of the book, TV and video empire inspired by Marc Brown's Arthur series (which are actually quite good, as kids books go, despite the fact that the author appears to have drawn them with his feet).

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1106799527179946432005-01-26T23:04:00.000-05:002005-01-27T16:32:59.426-05:00

MY INTEGRITY WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD! Hey, remember that time when that journalist guy got paid $240,000 to shill for the Bush administration? Yeah, that was awesome. But as is usually the case in the writing business, turns out there's someone out there willing to work cheaper. Today's market price for integrity: a mere $21,500. My favorite quote: "Did I violate journalistic ethics by not

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1106283181353576452005-01-21T07:52:00.000-05:002005-01-21T13:13:02.440-05:00

BLACK THURSDAY No, I'm not refering to the inaugural -- I'm too much of a fan of John Ashcroft's Goulet-inspired "Let the Eagles Soar" to call any event highlighting the song an unmitigated disaster. But is it any coincidence that on the same day, the evil editors at Amazon.com decided to systemically delete every last one of my 90-plus well-reasoned, articulate and objective reviews? I think

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1106160616832402392005-01-19T21:48:00.000-05:002005-01-19T23:17:46.346-05:00

WHATEVER YOU DO... Don't get pulled over in Marshall County, Alabama. Meet the sheriff. I was raised in era, the 1940's as a child and the 1950's as a teenager, which I remember with great affection. [snip] Parents could allow their children to go to a movie without having to screen it first because the good guy always wore the white hats. There was no question who the "Good Guy" was. Even

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1105994693908809442005-01-17T15:36:00.000-05:002005-01-17T15:49:59.683-05:00

RECOMMENDED: SHAUN OF THE DEAD Nothing like a quiet night in with your significant other, watching a romantic movie after the kids have gone to bed. Well, what passes for a romantic movie in our household, anyway. The movie's a hoot--a clever but predictable premise you could jot down on the back of a business card, but so perfectly executed and well acted it's impossible not to laugh. A lot.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1106081695710615422005-01-14T21:43:00.000-05:002005-01-18T15:54:55.710-05:00

SO LONG, HFS And hola, el zol. (I don't speak Spanish, but I'm guessing that, loosely translated, "siempre de fiesta" works out to "music everyone can agree on--even the boss.") Long before the airwaves were paved over and strip-malled, WHFS was a legendary alternative-rock station. I remember listening to it when I was in high school, back when it was still on the trailing edge of being "cool"

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1105643125212149742005-01-13T13:56:00.000-05:002005-01-13T14:11:34.563-05:00

MAYBE THEY'RE JUST UPSET THAT YOU CANCELED MARMADUKE Here's the most brilliant idea I've heard all week: Calling people who've canceled their newspaper subscription and asking them to reconsider by pointing out that you publish pieces that are supportive of the president. (Also note the patronizing comment about interacting with the huddled, non-cocktail party-attending masses -- "If they want

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1105570142266851152005-01-12T17:39:00.000-05:002005-02-02T17:55:43.410-05:00

DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN IPOD, EITHER See the footnote at the end of the display type touting the newest iPod's size? Here's exactly what the legalese says, buried amid a raft of other fine print involving AAC bit rates and Apple's always-questionable battery claims: 2. Do not eat iPod shuffle. I don't know which explanation is more horrifying: that some corporate attorney billed upwards of $250

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1105162893393742232005-01-08T01:29:00.000-05:002005-01-08T00:41:33.393-05:00

FOR $240,000, I'D WRITE A FLATTERING PROFILE OF... WELL, OF THIS GUY Move over, Jayson Blair and our friend with the soggy cheese on the private island off Sri Lanka. There's a new kid in town: Seeking to build support among black families for its education reform law, the Bush administration paid a prominent black pundit $240,000 to promote the law on his nationally syndicated television show

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1105045760707809872005-01-06T15:54:00.000-05:002005-01-06T16:21:21.490-05:00

REQUIEM FOR A MEGTRON(tm) After two years at my current job, my ca. 1994 Megtron(tm)(R) PC has finally growled menacingly at Mothra for the last time. Much to my amazement, I now actually have a brand-name computer running this strange, futuristic OS by the name of -- what do the kids call it again? -- Windows XP. But my Megtron is still sitting forlornly in a corner of my office, waiting for

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1104814820098281492005-01-03T23:55:00.000-05:002005-01-04T11:24:42.443-05:00

THE TRUE TRAGEDY OF IT ALL Leave it to the Post to capture the full dimensions of the devastation wrought by the tsunami last week: There were 15 of us gathered around the dinner table, from four continents, celebrating Christmas on a fantasy private island in the Indian Ocean... Hoots of laughter greeted my brother Geoffrey as he instructed us how to slice the Stilton cheese he had brought

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1104854814981682602004-12-27T11:02:00.000-05:002005-01-04T11:22:08.993-05:00

AT LEAST IT WASN'T COL. CLAUS Oh, well. At least we didn't wait in line for two freaking hours to see Santa this year. On the bright side, both girls awoke on Christmas morning besides themselves with excitement because they had heard not only Santa's heavy, plodding footsteps the night before, but also the flush of the toilet. (Apparently milk and cookies are a diuretic.) I'm not sure I'll

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1103222274025326962004-12-16T13:29:00.000-05:002005-01-04T11:25:03.313-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS, GHANDI! As I continue my holiday shopping (though using the word "continue" suggests, perhaps incorrectly, that I've actually started), I found this thought-provoking quote in an ad in the Utne Reader (don't ask). Now, you may ask, what were Ghandi's philisophical teachings being used to sell -- world peace, perhaps? Not quite -- try a cuticle pusher. That's the thing about

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1103043063752893162004-12-14T11:50:00.000-05:002005-01-04T11:12:32.250-05:00

UP TO NUMBER 3,252... WITH A BULLET The scary reviews don't stop 'til we get to the top. Here's some of the take-no-prisoners style of commentary you won't find in the New York Review of Books (scroll down to the user reviews). You probably won't find these fine products in the New York Review of Books, either, but that's hardly the point. Readin' Pickin' Grinnin' The full list Until next

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1102530497434992582004-12-08T13:25:00.000-05:002005-01-04T11:13:56.876-05:00

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO CODDLE MY LOZENGE I've let my medical degree from one of the Carribean's most prestigious correspondence schools lapse, so I can't make heads or tails of this e-mail I just received. These lozenges are just like typical pills but they are specially explicated to be coddled and dissolvable below the lingua. The lozenges is took up at the oral cavity and goes in

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1101930477618255612004-12-01T14:46:00.000-05:002004-12-01T14:47:57.616-05:00

THIS JUST IN, PART 2 Who knew that being a journalist didn't automatically exempt you from paying taxes? Looks like I'll be spending my weekend filling out retroactive 1040 forms...

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1101757084743322782004-11-29T14:36:00.000-05:002004-11-30T12:34:14.606-05:00

THIS JUST IN Since the Post has decided to make a cause out of running shorter stories, I thought I'd help them edit down this front-page story: Spoiled suburban kids like brand-name crap. I mean, who knew? To be fair, the story has a great, great lead: Brandon Singleton was 8 when he first saw the movie "Clueless," and it changed his life. I knew a guy in high school whose life was changed by

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1101335984811905382004-11-24T17:27:00.000-05:002004-11-26T12:36:49.136-05:00

THE VICTORS WRITE THE HISTORY BOOKS Given the calm, rational, even-handed way people have responded to the recent election, I couldn't help but find this funny: For roughly a decade, a film has been shown to visitors at Washington's Lincoln Memorial, depicting historic events that have taken place there — from civil rights marches to antiwar demonstrations. Then, one day the Rev. Lou Sheldon

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1101152105632699562004-11-22T21:26:00.000-05:002004-11-22T22:11:44.730-05:00

NOW I'M IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT Forget the Christmas decorations already beginning to pop up across the DC area's more tired-looking shopping centers. If you really want to announce to a Nation Divided(tm) that the holidays, with all their promise of hope and healing, are on their way, try something like this on for size: I'm not particularly surprised that a coworker ran into something like this

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1100973263383436852004-11-20T13:40:00.000-05:002004-11-21T22:36:56.046-05:00

READIN' IS TOUGH. TOUGH WORK. I've joked with friends that one of the underlying, sub rosa themes of this past election is perhaps best exemplified by the tagline from one of Fox's quality reality TV programs, the gist of which apparently involves taking Ivy league MBAs and shooting water balloons at them ("We're sticking it to the smarties!") Happily, my brethren in the news media are finally

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1100905464895978662004-11-17T18:04:00.000-05:002004-11-19T18:09:54.133-05:00

HEAL THE WORLD So, even before the election, I tried mightily to bring people together. But now, in this deeply divided country, is there any force strong enough to bring the coastal elites and the heartland value-types together?I boldly say yes. Forgive me if I get a bit emotional here.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1101094077285939502004-11-01T22:27:00.000-05:002004-11-21T22:30:50.083-05:00

BOO! Okay, so this maybe this isn't as scary as the previous photo. But imagine these guys up past their bedtime, on a sugar high...

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1098893076421950982004-10-27T13:02:00.000-04:002004-10-27T12:11:20.900-04:00

AT LONG LAST, THE OCTOBER SURPRISE I think I've finally found the author of this letter to the editor. Nice to see she had a change of heart. (image shamelessly appropriated from Wonkette.)

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1098332563398461612004-10-21T01:19:00.000-04:002004-10-22T12:15:33.616-04:00

NEIGHBORHOOD BLUES I don't live in a blue state. I don't even live in a blue county. However, according to this helpful electoral map the folks at the Washington Post put together, I do live in a tiny island of blue, surrounded by a vertiable ocean of compassionate conservatism, with maybe an archipelago of libertarianism scattered somewhere along the I-95 corridor, but let's not go overboard

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1097871122835215632004-10-15T16:04:00.000-04:002004-10-15T16:12:02.836-04:00

A MINOR MILESTONE I once had a coworker who invited as many people as could fit into his car to see the odometer roll over at 100,000 miles. In much the same spirit, I'm happy to report this humble Web site has broken the 10,000 visit mark. Now, if this was 1996 or something, this would be impressive. Or, if a couple of sites of this caliber hadn't cranked up the same kinds of numbers in a

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1097270990277491872004-10-08T17:25:00.000-04:002004-10-08T17:40:08.926-04:00

KINDRED SPIRITS One thing Blogger's been doing of late is adding that nifty blue bar at the top of the page, complete with the handy "NEXT BLOG" button. (Yes, I know there's a way of turning it off that totally p3n3z Blogger and everything, but I don't really care. Also, I'm lazy.) And besides, Blogger's parent company, Google, is well-known for its ability to generate contextual links between

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1097029008650686212004-10-05T22:16:00.000-04:002004-10-08T17:36:50.316-04:00

LOOKIT! SOMETHING SHINY! During a whirlwind 8-hour trip to Chicago earlier this week, I was mesmerized by this giant mirrored jellybean in the city's new Millennium Park. I walked around it, gazing dumbfounded at the ever-shifting skyline behind me, and took scads of pictures. It wasn't until I saw my own reflection and started pecking at it that the security guard pulled me away. (this space

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1096338052528579742004-09-27T22:13:00.000-04:002004-10-06T10:13:51.136-04:00

MORONS! Ever ones to be about 36 months behind the times, we got our 6-year-old daughter a scooter for her birthday. See the red warning label affixed to the handlebars? At first, I thought it would include some lawyered-up-but-within-the-realm-of-common-sense cautions along the lines of wearing a helmet or getting involved in a land war in Asia. Silly me. No, here's exactly what it said:

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1095450938299681942004-09-17T15:55:00.000-04:002004-11-19T23:15:01.380-05:00

I HANG MY XTREME BANDANA IN SHAME As someone who, you know, reads the newspapers every now and then, I feel a tiny bit more guilty with every passing day for driving an XTreme SUV (but don't worry -- it's electric). Luckily, there's now an antidote for my self-loathing, and it only costs $93,000: Knowing the Northern Virginia area, and its abundance of treacherous terrain and road hazzards (

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1095450740602015142004-09-09T20:51:00.000-04:002004-10-06T10:22:42.100-04:00

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF A BACHELOR PARTY People always venture well into the realm of the absurd when they start planning their weddings -- we decided, for some reason, to inconvenience all our family and friends by not only having our wedding out of town and on a Sunday, but out of town and on the Sunday before Christmas. Having said all that, I wish I had some of what this couple was

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1094700737008142162004-09-08T23:12:00.000-04:002004-09-08T23:33:05.453-04:00

CENSORSHIP REARS ITS UGLY HEAD A while back, I wrote about my thrilling new hobby. And, setting all false modesty aside, I'm proud to report that in just a few short weeks, I've skyrocketed up the reviewer charts to #23,907. Watch out, grillo7 of Kenai, Alaska -- you're GOING DOWN! Ahem. Of course, it's not all fun and games. For some unexplicable reason, the editors decided to pull my review

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1094070291442765712004-09-01T16:20:00.000-04:002004-09-01T16:37:56.900-04:00

MORE LIBERAL MEDIA SHENNANIGANS Here's more proof I'm a member of the liberal media power elite: Yet another nuanced letter to the editor at a newspaper I used to work for, complete with this fair and balanced headline: A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for Satan. Here's my favorite part: John Kerry says he "believes in a higher power". I wonder who that is? He says his parents have "passed on." I

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1093285838609696332004-08-23T22:26:00.000-04:002004-08-24T00:15:15.146-04:00

EVERYONE NEEDS A HOBBY... And it seems like mine has become having some fun with the user reviews on a certain bookselling site that shall remain nameless. Maybe someday this will land me a high-paying gig at the New York Review of Books, or, more likely, as a minimum-wage adjunct instructor at the Sally Struthers Correspondence School of Comparative Lit (right down the hall from the classes in

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1093037015274613852004-08-20T17:20:00.000-04:002004-10-27T12:18:14.306-04:00

A LITTLE LIGHT READING Here's my most recent example of the writing I actually get paid to do, which, sadly, I manage to crank out even less frequently than this infrequently updated blog. And if you don't feel like reading 4,500 well-chosen yet trenchant words on country schooling, you could always just check out the pictures. Don't cost nothin' (except for, thanks to the free but cumbersome

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1090987457280386522004-07-27T23:59:00.000-04:002004-07-28T20:00:04.136-04:00

I WAS YOUNG, AND I NEEDED THE MONEY Something tells me it's time to update my ancient Monster.com search agent, which I think I signed up for two, maybe three, jobs ago, but still kicks me the occasional e-mail. Either that, or I need to get a sex change operation and start learning Spanish. No, no, just kidding. All I can say is, good thing I'm currently pursuing far more wholesome endeavors

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1089768534364197522004-07-13T21:27:00.000-04:002004-07-14T10:41:23.606-04:00

MAYBE THEY'LL GREENLIGHT GHOSTBUSTERS 3... For the first time in a decade, I shaved my beard (it took nearly that long to grow out). Before the tabloids get their hands on them, here are the actual unretouched before and after photos:         Mothers, lock up your daughters!

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1088177647013504242004-06-25T11:33:00.000-04:002004-06-25T11:37:50.226-04:00

POINT-COUNTERPOINT During this pivotal time in our nation's history, I'm thankful the Interweb net machine thingy is being used to debate such important topics as this: Point Counterpoint I'll go out on a limb here and try to find some common ground. Neither mentioned the incredible contributions of the fake doctor in Burt Reynolds' fake ambulance. Now that's something we can all agree on.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1087328304320955412004-06-15T15:31:00.001-04:002004-10-14T23:33:44.966-04:00

SOLIPISM, NOW IN HANDY PICTORAL FORMAT I realize this where-I've-been website is blogfodder of the lowest-common-denominator variety, but given my love of exotic locales, I just couldn't help myself. Some day, North Korea, some day! Looking at this map, I have no earthly idea why I've been almost everywhere in Western Europe but England. On second thought, maybe this explains it. What

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1086642008874991032004-06-07T16:59:00.000-04:002004-06-09T00:10:49.890-04:00

WILL THE REAL ESTATE BUBBLE JUST GO AHEAD AND BURST, PLEASE? At least then, I wouldn't have to read sickening real estate writeups for nearby houses like this one: Sunday Morning: Enjoying the Post or the NY Times over a leisurely cup of coffee, sitting in the sunroom. The butterflies are enjoying the shade garden outside, and all is right with the world. You have no worries - your all brick

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1086369786384966202004-06-04T13:22:00.000-04:002004-06-04T14:44:42.570-04:00

WELL, HE IS AN MD... ... so I guess Rex Morgan could legally prescribe himself some Cialis. I know I usually obsess over the not-so-subtle innuendo in another family-friendly cartoon, but honestly, I couldn't come up with any other plausible explanation for this. It's almost as creepy as the infamous Superbowl commercial where Iron Mike throws a football through a tire swing and screams as

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1086369702989340942004-06-01T13:20:00.000-04:002004-06-04T14:44:28.626-04:00

LITTLE BLOG ON THE PRAIRIE This is Temple, North Dakota, not far from where I spent a good part of last week on assignment. It's heartbreakingly beautiful country, and this was an entirely abandoned town, complete with a ruined school, general store and church, hard along the railroad tracks that run from Chicago to Seattle. Anyway, just figured I'd post a blog entry from North Dakota.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1085168469947386782004-05-21T15:40:00.000-04:002004-05-24T11:07:35.496-04:00

WHAT THE CICADAS HAVE TAUGHT ME In what appears to be its 963rd consecutive daily story about the ongoing cicada invasion here in the DC area, the Washington Post trots out a columnist to opine that the "half-blind bugs" (as my 5-year-old calls them) can teach us all Something Important about life. I couldn't read the whole thing without wanting to gouge my own eyes out, but I think it had

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1083696866176170392004-05-05T08:50:00.000-04:002004-10-27T12:19:37.946-04:00

BECAUSE EVERY DAY IS NARCISSIST DAY I'd like to think I'm a fairly enlightened parent, as these things go. So I read this excerpt from an upcoming book of edgy essays by hip, literary fathers, or something like that. I'm still laughing. If I could be said to contour my life in those days around any image, I think it would be one I grew up with... the one featuring a guy with a raincoat slung

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1083695528372598912004-05-04T14:31:00.000-04:002004-05-04T15:02:30.310-04:00

MORE RIGHT-THINKING IN THE HINTERLANDS I have just one question about this letter to the editor which ran in one of my previous places of employment: Is it more sexist than racist, or more racist than sexist? Either way, nice headline.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1082561146901683352004-04-21T11:18:00.000-04:002004-04-21T11:48:54.373-04:00

THE BALCONY IS NOW CLOSED I know complaining about endless movie trailers and previews is about as perspicacious as, say, whining about those unopenable bags of peanuts on airplanes. So I won't. However, I can say with some authority that after carefully analyzing the more than 25 minutes of previews during my official 2004 outing to the movies, there are no good movies coming out. Ever.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1082146154457775132004-04-16T16:04:00.000-04:002004-05-04T14:59:06.373-04:00

I WISH I HAD COME UP WITH THIS 12 YEARS AGO... What, with it having become ever more selective over the years, I doubt I could get into my alma mater if I had to apply today. That's why a current student, who probably has 150 or so SAT points on me, was able to articulate the school's unique atmosphere in a way I couldn't have at his age: "Though half of the students are probably depressed,

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1081523978175062192004-04-09T11:18:00.000-04:002004-12-04T00:01:47.683-05:00

I ALMOST FEEL SORRY FOR W.... When you lose a great thinker like Bil Keane, you've lost the heartland. The glasses make the tyke on the left a dead ringer for Kim Jong Il, or maybe Hans Blix. But who's the little fella supposed to be? Tony Blair?

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1080576866030239212004-03-29T11:14:00.000-05:002004-03-29T11:17:01.060-05:00

I MAY NOT BE HEMMINGWAY... ... but apparently this blog is still pretty damn masculine. Of course, that may have something to do with my recent posts extolling the virtues of paintball rifles, SWAT teams, bad hair-metal nightclubs, and, of course, monkeys. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go run with the bulls. Or maybe the monkeys.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1080055750910308692004-03-23T10:16:00.000-05:002004-05-04T15:03:18.483-04:00

CLIFF'S NOTES This is disturbing. Not only did some desperate collegiate hack, undoubtedly on Double Secret Probation and hepped up on Mountain Dew, write a term paper on an article I wrote what seems like a zillion years ago, that term paper is now for sale (scroll down). Called Online Classifieds: A Descriptive & Integrative Analysis, the term paper offers -- what else? -- "a descriptive and

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1079710471136382262004-03-19T10:24:00.000-05:002004-03-19T10:45:48.296-05:00

SO MUCH FOR THE NIGHTLIFE A while back, in mentioning how I'm far too sophisticated to fall for trendy chain bars during my frequent nights out on the town (but not sophisticated enough to avoid aging ex-Monkees), I mentioned that the local Burger King had a bitchin' ball room. It also has a bitchin' SWAT team. Let me explain. I was there with the kids on a Saturday night, at the incredibly

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1078878831023587282004-03-09T19:33:00.000-05:002004-03-23T13:01:32.186-05:00

CREEPY. THE BAD KIND OF CREEPY. Issues of taste aside, I'm thinking this guy will be getting a visit from the nice folks with the Secret Service sometime soon. The poetry on the later pages is an especially nice touch. Though, all false modesty aside, it can't touch mine.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1078166770481880172004-03-01T13:46:00.000-05:002004-03-01T13:51:34.216-05:00

A DILEMMA Here's the thing. I -- I mean, a friend of mine -- was bored one day last year and created a fake blog that was supposedly written by a semi-famous person who was in the news a lot at the time. It got linked to by a couple of hipper-than-thou Web sites, and suddenly it got lots of traffic -- lots more than this, I mean his, site. Anyway. This particular person's back in the news at

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1077902829589319342004-02-27T13:22:00.000-05:002004-10-08T17:45:35.813-04:00

A VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS There's been so much written about Mel Gibson's new movie, Freaky Good Friday, that I'm reluctant to say anything myself. While all the usual do-gooder suspects have been complaining about the movie's violence, luckily people see things differently in my old stomping grounds: But the Rev. Jeffery Schroeder, resident chaplain at the Interdenominational Stuarts Draft

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1077820395878935802004-02-26T13:33:00.000-05:002004-03-24T18:53:45.560-05:00

NOTE TO SELF: STOP READING NEWS What a week. Not only do I find out that my own wife is probably a terrorist, but I'm also suddenly overqualified for a career in manufacturing, and a wacky little culture war is breaking out. Is it November yet? Oh, wait. Never mind.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1077064991563283982004-02-17T19:42:00.000-05:002004-12-04T00:09:43.943-05:00

BACK TO THE SADDEST CIRCLE OF HELL I know I often say that The Family Circus is disturbing, but really. The mystery object on Dolly's head aside, the mind reels at just what kinds of images Bil might have hidden on his computer. In some circles, this would be called "a desperate cry for help." To me, it's just desperate.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1076720426243925492004-02-13T19:50:00.000-05:002004-02-18T11:08:29.200-05:00

LET'S PARTY LIKE IT'S... 2000 Okay, I realize I'm probably not the right person to be critiquing the local nightlife scene, given my last night out on the town involved an ex-Monkee and a would-be stalker. But still, this is almost unspeakably sad. A bar, based on a movie from 2000? And a bad movie from 2000, at that. What's next? A place where the dress code includes leg warmers and headbands

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1077119196325553922004-02-10T10:46:00.000-05:002004-03-23T13:02:18.403-05:00

NEXT QUESTION I've always wondered what it would be like to be in a book club. Of course, I'd actually have to learn to read first, but that's a minor detail. Anyway. I was flipping through a book my wife was reading the other day, and much to my dismay, it had a set of ready-made questions for book clubs to discuss at the end. Which would be fine, except that many of them were questions that

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1075847065079244382004-02-03T17:23:00.000-05:002004-02-03T17:32:22.716-05:00

MAYBE I SHOULDN'T TRY TO GET OUT MORE So I'm at a concert a few nights ago, and some random guy sees a friend's digital camera and asks if he can use it to take a picture. Once he's told sure, he can try to get a picture of himself with the musicians, he shakes his head. "No," he says, pointing at me. "I want a picture of that guy." Now, when you're blessed with an Adonislike physique that

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1075146170425448262004-01-26T14:40:00.000-05:002004-03-24T18:54:43.763-05:00

NOT A GOOD WAY TO START A MONDAY MORNING Now I'm nominally a Democrat, which is why I feel well within my rights to point out how creeped out I was when I flipped through the paper this morning. Yes, that's John Kerry peering into a house while campaigning in New Hampshire. Which, by the way, is a Class 2 misdemeanor in many states. Of course, it could be worse -- if he was on the other side

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1075146662465333462004-01-24T14:46:00.000-05:002004-01-26T14:54:30.153-05:00

THANKS TO THE NOT-SO-INFINITE NUMBER OF MONKEYS... ...the newest installment in a collaborative (read: bizarre) writing project I'm working on with several friends is now online. All credit goes to Tom, whose wife, CeCe, actually knows a thing or two about using monkeys to get a book published by a reputable house. Sock monkeys, anyway.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1074804778659772702004-01-22T15:52:00.000-05:002004-01-22T15:56:33.640-05:00

MAYBE PAUL KRUGMAN CAN HELP EXPLAIN THIS It's been a long time since I've mentioned my archnemesis here. But looking at the paper this morning, I was rendered dumbfounded (and we all know how painful that can be): I know Bil's not exactly the master of the inscrutable, but really -- what in the hell are we supposed to make of this? (The radio waves emitting from his chin aside, I mean.) "

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1072803673115399372003-12-30T11:54:00.000-05:002003-12-30T12:10:35.763-05:00

MOVE OVER, WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN Always eager to prove that I am, first and foremost, a Serious Journalist, here's a couple of recent examples of my work. First, a serious and high-minded comic book. No, really. And, as if that wasn't enough, there's this: a probing investigative expose of nekkid people holding flower pots. (Note: Free registration probably required, but after that build-up,

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1071543070178298252003-12-15T21:47:00.000-05:002003-12-15T21:58:46.123-05:00

HAVE YOURSELF A GENERIC LITTLE CHRISTMAS... Here's a sentence I never thought I'd write, be it online or elsewhere: I actually entered my company's holiday decorating contest this year. Of course, as is the case with many competitions, I play to lose. This is what I managed to come up with, in the span of about 15 minutes, including brainstorming, printing, and decorating proper: The theme?

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1070464514031986902003-12-03T10:13:00.000-05:002003-12-03T10:17:44.983-05:00

TREASON ABOUNDS These headlines are starting to look a little like an Ann Coulter book signing, but still, I must ask: Why does Google hate America?

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1069442725336230832003-11-21T14:25:00.000-05:002003-11-21T14:28:18.936-05:00

TREACHERY IN THE HINTERLANDS Those bastards!

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1069362906152391102003-11-20T16:13:00.000-05:002003-11-20T16:20:16.076-05:00

TOO BAD THE BOOKER'S ALREADY BEEN ANNOUNCED... The newest installation in the nightmare collaborative novel I'm "writing" with a couple of friends, penned by yours truly (or, at least, by the half-dozen monkeys we keep locked up in the basement with a crash-prone Megtron(tm) PC and a copy of Xywrite) is now online. In true post-modern blog style, the most recent installment's at the top,

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1069190854015479472003-11-18T16:27:00.000-05:002003-11-18T16:27:57.903-05:00

GUESS THE BLIND PEDESTRIAN PLAYKIT'S BEEN DISCONTINUED I realize this makes me a callous, uncaring parent, but the names of these toys always make me laugh. Hard to believe that a periscope could cause eye injuries. Or that toy nunchucks could cause "blunt impact." But mostly, I feel sorry for poor Ribbets.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1069092478455131762003-11-17T13:06:00.000-05:002003-11-17T13:08:48.733-05:00

THEY KNOW THEIR AUDIENCE Consider the ad at the top of a weekly e-mail for journalists that just came over the transom: "You have adult acne.... Will anyone ever find you attractive?" Yes... and no.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1068243934271564862003-11-07T17:25:00.000-05:002003-11-17T13:11:47.530-05:00

METRO FOR RED-STATERS One of the gazillion associations in the DC area has written a painfully retentive guide to the metro. "After one trip, you'll be a pro!" the breathless copy reads. Especially helpful -- the detailed instructions for purchasing a farecard, and I quote: "1. Put your money in the slot." The only thing they forgot to add was not to get scared when the train goes under the

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1068175241204115852003-11-06T22:07:00.000-05:002003-11-17T13:14:44.873-05:00

THE SMOKING GUN I spent a few years living in Germany during my teenage years -- a few years which just happened to fall during the mid-1980s, so I missed quite a few cultural milestones. MTV? We'd occasionally get a videotape someone would bring back from the states, which would make the rounds of my friends until we had the 2 hours of music memorized*. Cabbage Patch Kids? Luckily, I missed

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1068056496338954752003-11-05T13:19:00.000-05:002003-11-06T22:07:24.620-05:00

THIS COULD BE ME... Apparently this is where some journalists wind up during these trying economic times. It certainly has a lot more panache than the Maytag box I've been eyeing of late...

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1068056083389673202003-11-04T21:12:00.000-05:002003-11-05T15:01:06.550-05:00

THIS JUST IN... ... I have no life. I scored a 109.5 on this test. Pity me. The most embarassing part, aside from the fact that I precisely remember the lyrics to a freakin' Toto song from two decades ago but can't recall what I had for breakfast this morning? I identified lots of songs generated by hair bands. Bad hair bands...

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1067575781621839172003-10-31T00:01:00.000-05:002003-10-30T23:50:52.936-05:00

BOO!

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1066757569867898372003-10-20T23:29:00.000-04:002003-10-21T16:45:01.583-04:00

OF PUMPKINS AND PAINTBALLS It's fall, which means it's time for our family's annual trip to the pumpkin patch out in the country. Well, not so much in the country anymore--it's now surrounded by a gaggle of vinyl-clad Northern Virginia McMansions, all with extensive decking so their owners can enjoy an uninterupted view of the moon bounces, the plentiful parking, and all the cheerful examples of

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1066757377141176362003-10-15T01:28:00.000-04:002003-10-21T13:29:53.630-04:00

MY NEW CAREER... ...as a film reviewer. Scroll down to the review entitled "A stunningly prescient rumination on Euro-American relations," and enjoy. The balcony is closed.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1065541570392655292003-10-07T11:43:00.000-04:002003-10-07T11:46:10.073-04:00

YEAH, BUT OTHER THAN THAT, DID WE GET ANYTHING WRONG? A classic correction from The Washington Post: A Sept. 21 item in the Metro in Brief column about a woman fatally shot in Prince George's County and a child who was wounded incorrectly reported the woman's age, the child's sex, the child's location at the time of the shooting, and the street on which the shooting occurred. A correct account

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1065478744584631762003-10-06T18:17:00.000-04:002003-10-07T11:47:20.416-04:00

THIS JUST IN: CULTURE IS DEAD I wouldn't believe this if I hadn't read it myself: Evidently piqued at the thought of his wife being groped by a treacherous Frenchman, our august president wrote her this lovely, nuanced poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Oh my, lump in the bed How I've missed you. Roses are redder Bluer am I Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy. The dogs and the cat,

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1065214703104060332003-10-03T16:51:00.000-04:002003-10-03T16:58:22.453-04:00

THE MOVIE OF THE YEAR When critics use that phrase, it's usually hyperbole. For us, it's literal. Ever since we had our first child, we've seen exactly one movie -- no more, and no less -- in the theater each calendar year. Between the relative scarcity of babysitters, and the desire to do something other than sit in a dark room when we're lucky enough to find one, we just don't go to the

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1065120905450102742003-10-01T14:01:00.000-04:002003-10-03T11:06:33.510-04:00

WHO NEEDS THE NYT SUNDAY BOOKS SECTION? My well-documented love for this comic meets my penchant for fair and balanced book reviews. Maybe we should pass this title along to Mssr. Limbaugh.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1065067146033708652003-09-30T23:58:00.000-04:002003-10-09T14:42:21.220-04:00

IT DOESN'T GET ANY META THAN THIS Here's the first longish thing I've written for Teacher -- an article on blogging. And now here I am, blogging about an article about other people blogging. It's enough to make your head spin. It doesn't end there. One of the great things about the Internet is that when you write about people who write on the Internet, they write back about being written about.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1064415028143873192003-09-24T10:49:00.000-04:002003-09-24T10:50:28.380-04:00

GOOD GRIEF More fair and balanced commentary from the hinterlands. I'm glad I'm not the person who had to edit this one down into (semi) coherent sentences..

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1063160140951541592003-09-09T22:15:00.000-04:002003-09-09T22:36:58.553-04:00

THOUGHTCRIME! So, you'd think a good way to blow off some steam would be to go hear some live music, right? Think again. This is us at a recent concert in oh-so-hip Arlington, where we lived before we became boring suburbanites obsessed with shiny wallpaper and homeowner association-mandated paint colors like "Beachwood." Looks like we're having some good, clean, Right-Thinking fun, right?

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1062992441259130592003-09-07T23:40:00.000-04:002003-09-29T14:26:44.120-04:00

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME... HAIRBALLS So, the Redskins won their first game of the season the other night, though based on what I've read about the NFL's "celebration" on the Pepsi Vanilla(tm)/Fritos(tm) National Mall(tm), good taste was the real loser of the night. I'm a long-time Redskins fan, having endured a decade-plus of medicore teams, embarassing owner gaffes, and revolving-door coaching.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1062609374069695282003-09-03T13:16:00.000-04:002003-09-03T13:17:11.720-04:00

I ALWAYS KNEW THAT WHOLE POLITENESS THING WAS A FACADE Yet another reason not to trust the Canadians.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1061912164407835742003-08-26T11:36:00.000-04:002004-01-22T15:59:23.030-05:00

A TRAITOR IN OUR MIDST Where I work, in buttoned-down Bethesda, you wouldn't expect drama, rebellion and outright treason to play themselves out in the streets. You'd be wrong. First, someone quite unreasonably, I think, spraypainted the newspaper boxes for The Washington Times with one simple word: LIES. That was followed by the word SWILL on the USA Today boxes. Then, the same person hit

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1061574916283052142003-08-22T13:55:00.000-04:002003-08-22T15:00:52.290-04:00

THE HOLIDAYS ARE JUST FOUR SHORT MONTHS AWAY... ...not that I'm dropping hints or anything. Who knows, maybe I was just inspired by this heartwarming example of compassionate conservatism (scroll down to the comments for the full effect). Or, if this all seems so three months ago, there's always this. A timeless classic which plays... a timeless classic.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1061514623906120342003-08-21T21:10:00.000-04:002003-08-21T21:26:22.630-04:00

HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION, PT. 2 Kids at the beach... This is exactly what summer vacation is all about. Nine hours in the car each way, listening to kids tunes involving SpongeBob, Dragontales and the confounded freaking religious vegetables thanks to an iPod whose battery refused to die... not so much.

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1059420083632899742003-07-28T15:21:00.000-04:002003-07-28T15:22:35.440-04:00

SOMEONE NOTIFY OPRAH IMMEDIATELY The scary joke novel I'm writing with two friends has been updated once more, thanks to Jeremy. Taking an already weird literary experiment to new heights, his new entry includes Saladin, Jimi Hendrix, Einstein and a plot line from the cinematic masterpiece Back to the Future II. (As always, the most recent chapter is at the top of the page, though it's no more

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2600884.post-1058481144751697542003-07-17T18:32:00.000-04:002003-07-18T10:50:02.766-04:00

IT STILL MAKES MORE SENSE THAN J-SCHOOL As if Jayson Blair, massive media consolidation and this wacky unrecession haven't been ill enough portents for those of us in the journalism biz, now there's this fun new option for the upwardly mobile reporter. Instead of putting in your time in the trenches, building a decent clip file, and uncovering that one big scandal that can define a career, you

A Right-Thinking Americanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06969677364041446557noreply@blogger.com