Friday, June 25, 2004

POINT-COUNTERPOINT

During this pivotal time in our nation's history, I'm thankful the Interweb net machine thingy is being used to debate such important topics as this:

Point

Counterpoint

I'll go out on a limb here and try to find some common ground. Neither mentioned the incredible contributions of the fake doctor in Burt Reynolds' fake ambulance. Now that's something we can all agree on.

Heal the world.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

SOLIPISM, NOW IN HANDY PICTORAL FORMAT

I realize this where-I've-been website is blogfodder of the lowest-common-denominator variety, but given my love of exotic locales, I just couldn't help myself.



Some day, North Korea, some day!



Looking at this map, I have no earthly idea why I've been almost everywhere in Western Europe but England. On second thought, maybe this explains it.



What can I say? After you've been to Delaware, it's all downhill from there.

Monday, June 07, 2004

WILL THE REAL ESTATE BUBBLE JUST GO AHEAD AND BURST, PLEASE?

At least then, I wouldn't have to read sickening real estate writeups for nearby houses like this one:

Sunday Morning: Enjoying the Post or the NY Times over a leisurely cup of coffee, sitting in the sunroom. The butterflies are enjoying the shade garden outside, and all is right with the world. You have no worries - your all brick house is old enough to have hardwood floors on main and bedroom levels and mature landscaping with big trees, but all the renovations have already been done. Yesterday you played golf on the adjacent golf course, and this evening you're meeting friends at the Reston Town Center for dinner and an outdoor concert under the stars. Isn't this the way you've always wanted to live?


Wow, that sounds great -- never mind that the asking price is roughly one astronomical order of magnitude beyond what we paid for our own abode that's "old enough to have hardwood floors" (not to mention shiny wallpaper). Of course, our own writeup would have a few minor changes. First, instead of "enjoying the Post or the NY Times," we'd mention "the onomatopoetic classic Mr. Brown Can Moo and reruns of Spongebob Squarepants." For "leisurely cup of coffee," subsitute "hurried swig of room-temperature Diet Coke." For "butterflies," substitute "annoyingly metaphorical cicadas," and for "mature landscaping with big trees," add the phrase "which creak in the slightest breeze and lean menacingly towards your roof." Instead of talking about "the adjacent golf course," make some snide comment about our stunning lake view, and for the part about "this evening," add something about meeting friends at a swank Reston eatery for nuggets and an indoor performance by the local SWAT team.

There goes the neighborhood.

Friday, June 04, 2004

WELL, HE IS AN MD...



... so I guess Rex Morgan could legally prescribe himself some Cialis. I know I usually obsess over the not-so-subtle innuendo in another family-friendly cartoon, but honestly, I couldn't come up with any other plausible explanation for this. It's almost as creepy as the infamous Superbowl commercial where Iron Mike throws a football through a tire swing and screams as though he's having a coronary. Another one, I mean.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

LITTLE BLOG ON THE PRAIRIE



This is Temple, North Dakota, not far from where I spent a good part of last week on assignment. It's heartbreakingly beautiful country, and this was an entirely abandoned town, complete with a ruined school, general store and church, hard along the railroad tracks that run from Chicago to Seattle.

Anyway, just figured I'd post a blog entry from North Dakota. Someone had to. (I would have done it while I was actually there, but my hotel's "business center" -- note the use of sarcastic quote marks -- was closed for my entire stay.)